Breakups can be messy, but what happens when former lovers remain emotionally entangled, even after parting ways?
Actor Danny Denzongpa once opened up about his four-year relationship with , a glamorous icon of the ’70s. Their love story began when they started living in the same building. “She was on the 4th floor and I was on the 1st floor,” Danny had told . “We were two young kids, and we lived together for four years. That was big news those days. We had a wonderful time, but later, we grew apart and parted on a good note. We remained friends,” he shared in another interview with , reflecting on a relationship that began in love but ended in unexpected complications.
Even after they broke up and Danny had moved on with someone new, Parveen would continue to visit his home — sometimes without warning. He revealed that he had , but noticed her behaviour becoming more bizarre by the day. “I would pick up (new girlfriend) Kim from the sets after pack up and reach home only to find Parveen in my bedroom watching a movie on the VCR. I asked Parveen not to do it. But she’d say, ‘We don’t have anything between us. We are friends,’” he recalled.
He revealed how he got to know about her condition later on when she had invited him over for dinner while dating Mahesh Bhatt. In the same interview, he recalled, “I had been for dinner at her place. There were silver conches on the table. When I began blowing one, she got frightened. That’s when Mahesh said, ‘She gets easily frightened these days and is turning into a recluse’.”
Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani explains that when emotional lines remain undefined after a breakup, it can deeply affect all involved. “Breakups require space for healing. When that space is compromised, either due to frequent communication or physical presence, the emotional residue lingers. This can stall closure for the exes and create emotional unrest for new partners.” She adds that such situations often lead to confusion and mixed signals, especially when one person believes there’s still a special bond while the other is trying to move forward.
Parveen’s statement about just being friends with her ex Danny may have been genuine from her perspective, but clearly, it didn’t reflect Danny or Kim’s emotional state. According to Gurnani, it’s essential for both individuals to align on what their post-relationship dynamic looks like.
“Friendship after love is possible, but only when both parties have fully processed the breakup and mutually agreed on boundaries. Misalignment often leads to frustration and can .” She suggests that people should have honest conversations soon after a breakup to discuss how they wish to engage going forward or not.
Gurnani explains, “New partners often hesitate to speak up, fearing they’ll seem jealous or possessive. But emotional safety in a relationship comes from being able to voice discomfort without judgment.”
She recommends that individuals in such situations approach the conversation with empathy rather than accusations. “It’s not about banning an ex from someone’s life — it’s about creating clear boundaries that respect the new relationship.”
